Slendersquid
by dorko4u
Summary: There's a myth about a slender guy who wears a nice suit, but that probably has nothing to do with this short story about SpongeBob and Patrick camping.


"Boy, it was a good idea to go camping, Patrick!" Says the sponge. "It's been forever since I got to sit outside and eat marshmallows."

"Yeah!" Replies the star. "And we're slightly farther away from our houses!"

Sure enough, the two are camping in a forest that's behind their houses.

"I don't remember there being a forest so close by," SpongeBob observes.

"It's too bad Squidward didn't want to come."

"He probably doesn't want to because of what happened last time."

"What a baby."

Patrick pulls back his marshmallow on a stick that he's been roasting. He sticks the flaming snack into his mouth, only to spit it back out immediately.

Elsewhere, Squidward relaxes in his house.

"This is great! This time those two morons really left to go camping! It'll be nothing but me, a nice book, and a cup of warm tea. Maybe they'll get lost this time!"

Squidward laughs in his usual fashion. He sinks into his bed and gets comfortable, but then he hears knocking on the front door. Squidward gets up and answers it.

"Yes?"

Squidward is met with roasted bits of marshmallow flying into his face. He stands there confused for a few seconds before wiping it off. He slams the door shut and goes back to bed, grumbling all the way.

Back to the camp site, the two knuckleheads are still enjoying their time camping.

"Ooh, I know!" Patrick suddenly yells. "We should tell scary stories!"

"Alright, I've got one." SpongeBob begins. "It was just like any other morning. I woke up and went down to the kitchen to get some breakfast. I felt like eating cereal so I opened the cabinet. I grabbed a box of Bran Flakes. I poured the cereal into the bowl, but when I went to the fridge... There was no milk!"

Patrick is unimpressed, giving a bored look on his face.

"Alright, your turn, Patrick."

"Have you heard about... the slendersquid?"

"Slenderwhat?"

"He's a pure white squid who is super tall!" Patrick explains. "And he wears a business suit!"

"What's scary about that? He's tall and has a job?"

"That isn't the worst part! Not only that, but he lacks something!"

"A briefcase?"

"HE HAS NO FACE!"

Patrick obviously meant for that to have a big impact, but it only left SpongeBob scratching his head.

"The slendersquid lurks forests just like this one!" Patrick continues. "They say there's notes around the forest that warn you about him, and he really doesn't like it when you take them!"

"Why?" SpongeBob asks.

"Uh... Because..." Patrick stalls, thinking. "He... doesn't like paper?"

SpongeBob laughs it off. "Come on, Patrick. None of that makes any sense."

"Oh yeah? Then what's that behind you?"

SpongeBob looks back and notices a piece of paper on a nearby tree. He walks over and picks it up.

"'Look out'? Why would someone leave this here?" SpongeBob wonders.

"SpongeBob, you shouldn't have grabbed that! Now he'll be after us!" Patrick complains, starting to fidget nervously.

"Calm down, Pat. Maybe it's only part of a grocery list."

"A grocery list that starts with 'look out'?"

"Maybe it says something like, 'look out for some bread!'"

Patrick starts nervously looking around the area. He's gotten really paranoid.

"AAAAAH! Look! It's Slendersquid!"

"Patrick, that's a tree."

"AAAAAH! There!"

"That's the tent."

"AAAAAH! BEHIND YOU!"

SpongeBob looks behind him to see someone standing there. It's a squid alright, but he's got a face that comes with a big nose.

"Can you guys keep it down? I'm trying to get some sleep!" Squidward yells.

"I'LL SAVE YOU, SpongeBob!" Patrick cries, running over with a big log he found.

"PATRICK, NO!" SpongeBob shouts, but it's too late. Patrick whacks Squidward on the head with the big log. Squidward falls over from the hit.

"Oh. Sorry Squidward." Patrick apologizes. Squidward can only mumble a response.

"See, Patrick? There's no Slendersquid." SpongeBob proudly states.

"Excuse me."

"What is it, Patrick?"

"I didn't say that, SpongeBob..."

SpongeBob's eyes shoot wide open. He slowly looks behind him. There he stands, the slendersquid as described! SpongeBob and Patrick scream, hugging each other. They prepare for the worst as slender draws closer, and...

"I'd like to have my note back, please." Requests the squid.

"S-Sure, here." SpongeBob hands it back over.

"Thank you. This piece of paper came off of my grocery list." The slender one explains. "I made sure to write it so I'd remember to look out for marshmallows."

"Oh. We have some marshmallows! Want some?" SpongeBob offers.

"OH BOY, WOULD I?" Slendersquid excitedly exclaims. All three of them gather around the fire, roasting marshmallows.

"So what is it like to not have a face?" Patrick asks.

"You get used to it." Slender says as he stuffs a marshmallow into his face. He seems to eat it somehow. Squidward slowly sits up and rubs his head, recovering from the beating.

"I never should have come out here." He whines. The only response Squidward gets is more flaming bits of marshmallow goo spat into his face.


End file.
